“I am still single. I am over 30 and scared.” Hmmm…sounds like a lot of sistas I know. These are the words of Sister Joy Jones.
In 1991, Joy wrote a very controversial editorial for the Washington Post about relationships between Black men and women anywhere. This sister also wrote the very controversial “Marriage is for White People” more recently. I wanted to share an except from the past with all of you.
Linear thinking, self-reliance, structured goals and direct action assist one in getting assignments done, in organizing church or club activities, or in positioning oneself for a raise; but relationship building requires different skills. It requires making decisions that not only gratify you, but satisfy others. It means doing things that will keep the peace rather than achieve the goal; and sometimes, it means creating the peace in the first place.
Maintaining a harmonious relationship will not always allow you to take the straight line between two points. You may have to stoop to conquer or yield to win. In too many cases, when dealing with men, you will have to sacrifice being right in order to enjoy being loved.
Being acknowledged as the head of the household is an especially important thing for many black men, since their manhood is so often actively challenged everywhere else. Many modern women are so independent, so self-sufficient, so committed to the cause, to the church, to career-or their narrow concepts of same-that their entire personalities project an “I don’t need a man” message. So they end up without one.
Click here for the whole article.