“Baby Momma” and other things that are not job titles

“Baby Momma” is not a job title.  It should not be the period at the end of your life’s run-on sentence.  I don’t care if your Baby Daddy is Lil Wayne and you’re standing at Rikers Island today with arms wide open and a fresh weave (all 3…I mean 4 of yall…I think…hell I don’t know how many chicks have had Lil Wayne’s kids!).

I know a whole lot of strong single moms out there who are not just “baby mommas”.  They are working professionals, artists, spiritual sages, supportive friends, and so much more.  I’m seeing a wave on TV and online (blogs mostly) where black women who have had babies by male stars are simply referred to as “So-in-so’s Baby Momma”.  Not the “Girlfriend” or “Ex-girlfriend”.  Not the “Mother of his child”.  No acknowledgement of the fact that some of these women are stars in their own right, business owners, etc.  I take issue with this because we live in an aspirational society where we see black girls striving to be video vixens.  I’m talking “stand there and shake you butt” chicks, not I have a “M.F.A in Dance from Howard” professional dancers.  (I can respect strippers more than video models because they have a regular gig and can work a 40 hour week.)  Will young girls looking for acceptance and wanting the fame decide that being the “Baby Momma” of some notable man is the new route to stardom?

Just because you get a check doesn’t make it a job.  Things happen.  A lot of women are single moms, but most of the ones I know would not suggest someone take on that role in an effort to come up in the world.  It’s not different than aspiring to win the lottery or play for the NBA…most that try won’t win and most try won’t play.

Other things that aren’t job titles:

  • BOSS – Said the way Fantasia’s brother says it.  If you don’t have employees on a payroll, you’re not a boss
  • Jumpoff
  • Video Vixen – Not the same as a model
  • Rapper – If you are over the age of 40 and you’re not legend in the game.  It could be a hobby, though.


Filed under african american, black, black women, celebrity, children, culture, family, opinion, relationships, sex, women, youth

2 Responses to “Baby Momma” and other things that are not job titles

  1. you and i live in such different worlds…

    i’m fighting the other end of it, so to speak. getting a paycheck does not “define” one, yo. or not getting a paycheck! indeed, why are we talking about checks, anyway? it’s just paper, even when cashed.

    i hear you, i really do. i have a Marine Corps buddy (white) and his daughter is a Baby Mamma. he laments it, often. she’s… deplorable. but i say to him: this is likely the best she’ll ever do. let her be taken care of by the system, for as long as it will. they do this in China, you know? they just pay the poor a living wage and let them be poor and have the squabbles and foibles of that class. stability-wise, it makes a lot of sense. humans are fecund; there’s not point trying to suppress that fact. instead, let those who wish to achieve do so, and focus the most money on that. MFA from Howard, heh. cause, yeah. that gets ya real far, these days. snort. if we’re talking about fault and blame, let’s talk about the trillions of dollars the Masters of the Universe group (which is small, btw) have blown on themselves and their egos. trillions and trillions of dollars frat boys have hashed, and why? cause they are Stupid. with two OOs.

  2. Mike Hunt

    You know what, Sista, I like debating a lot of premises with you, and we come from very different points of view, but, for what it’s worth from this guy, I have to agree with you 100% on this!

    I think capitalism is a “reasonably” fair system (there will always be abuses from some side or another), but Black women are consistently expected to take a back seat to the decision makers, and proponents of the status quo like it that way. Why? Well, racists want you to keep being “babies mommas” and voting a certain way so you won’t make any waves. Plus, the moment you call BS on that system, which your article has done, you upset the apple cart.

    You and I may differ profoundly on certain ideas, but I think you hit the nail right on the head with this one. The only way Black women are going to get the respect they deserve is to stop evaluating themselves in terms of a sexist, racist (yeah, I said “racist”) system.

    I’ve worked with a number of different people from any variety of races, and it might not be PC to say, but my experience shows that Black women are among the hardest workers, especially compared to men in general. I’ll leave the racial question aside for a moment :)

    What you said in you article is, in my opinion, the key to elevating the Black community in general. To hell with titles and categories as prescribes some census taker. Black women in American have suffered some of the greatest injustices that might be dealt to any group, and the moment your young are taught to see themselves as equal citizens, and not as the extension of some fool’s progeny, will be the moment the future become brighter.

    And I think that’s happening! Again, I know we disagree on certain fundamentals, but I have to say your message is among the most positive and constructive that I’ve seen on a lot of forums!

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