Complete this Sentence: Psychologists told Black People to stop spanking their kids and now…

Finish this sentence for me, people:  “Psychologists told Black People to stop spanking their kids and now…”  You can leave a comment below.

Why do I ask?  Crazy “youngins” on the metro this morning.

If you live in DC, you know that African-American kids can act a dignified fool on the metro trains.  I blame this on the fact that many black parents stopped spanking their kids and strayed from the time-tested methods of discipline that worked for our foremothers and forefathers.

Do you think Martin Luther King was put in time out?  Did Ruby Dee and Ossie Davis have to sit there and think about what they’d done…and then write a letter to their victim as punishment?  I would venture to say that many a famous negro of yesteryear received proper spankings.  I’m not talking extension cords, big wooden boards,  and other out of the ordinary stuff.  I’m not talking about anything that leaves bruises or welts.  Spanking with a hand or belt, NOT beatings.  You can disagree with me and if you think it’s abuse, you’re entitled to your opinion.  As am I.

15 Comments

Filed under african american, black, black history, children, culture, d.c., opinion, society, youth

15 Responses to Complete this Sentence: Psychologists told Black People to stop spanking their kids and now…

  1. Lioness

    “Psychologists told Black People to stop spanking their kids and now…” they think they can answer “uh” from where ever they are instead of appearing front and center with “yes”

    “Psychologists told Black People to stop spanking their kids and now…”they can speak when not spoken to.

    Need I mention I would have never dreamed of either!

  2. So glad to see a Like Minded Woman – so tired of being told that I was such “an evil women” because I not only beleived in spanking as my generation (almost 50) got as children but I also made my children “Do Chores” which many in their generation didn’t do.

    One thing I have noticed in the younger generations is the rise in the Disrespect for their “Elders” at large since the fear of getting a spanking by a person outside of the family isn’t there like in my day if you cut up one of the neighbors was freely able to spank you if your parents weren’t around to do so & then by the time you got home you got another spanking because “Miss Jones” up the street had already called home to tell mother that she beat you & why so you got beat again because she had to spank you for cutting up

    Back in the day we didn’t roll our eyes at our parents nor did we talk back….
    Just wondering Did you recall “The Eye” or “The Look” which shut you down if you forgot to act properly? There was a reson for that look & it worked because we children KNEW what would be coming if we continued on our current path of behavior

    Dr Spock & now Dr Phil have ruined American children with their pampering of spoiled brats acting as if children are equal to their parents

  3. amery

    they need spanking and beating too, the only four letter words we knew when we were little were: work and pray, now since we can’t beat, (just playing) spank them the white man is beating them up side the head. atleast we loved them

  4. sorry, you lost me on this one. i’m a law abiding, voting, tax paying, fully educated, upstanding citizen. my mother only spanked me once. and that was for trying to burn down a forest, which tripped her shit bad seeing as how at that time we lived in the middle of a big one and it was a very dry autumn. her mom, a real ****, also never raised a hand to her. we just never did that physical discipline thang. sis is ever more upstanding than i, as is her hubby (MIT, UMBus school, et.)

    no, i do grok what you mean. i really do. i remember when i met the daughter of this white family with whom my folks had gone to school. they lived in the burbs. the very first time i went over to her house to hang out, her mom, a homemaker, was home. her mom asked her to do something, take out the trash, i can’t remember. she said, “whatever mom.” and walked away. her mom started shouting at her. she shouted back. it went on and on.

    i was utterly horrified. i had at that point never raised my voice to my mother in my life. nor my father. i was sure the laird gawd was going to strike her dead, right there, for the offense.

    yes, there is something very, very wrong with how children are being raised in amurka today. chillin of all races. but physical discipline? no, good parents don’t need it. really, it’s not the point, and it works only as well as what really works is working. which is: teaching the children the meaning of respect. see the key verb there? not “beating” or “shouting” or even “shaming.” the active and important verb is “teaching.” ymmv, of course.

  5. Chicago Dyke: I feel you, I do. I rarely got spankings. Maybe 3 in my whole life. I think that good parents are key. But what about situations where you don’t have good parent? What about all of the young parents who are clueless about proper child rendering. Discipline, boundaries, not over spoiling the child, not abusing the child, not harshly talking to the child, compassion, not abandoning children to daycare staff…all of this makes up good parenting (at least traditionally).

    I think that physical punishment is not something that works for all kids in all homes, but it does work for some. Those parents who use it as a tool wisely and with proper boundaries should not be thought of as bad parents.

  6. sista: thank you for the considerate response. to that i say this as simply as i can:

    i never beat my dog, and he’s more stupid and dangerous than the most stupid child. yet i have trained him, well. why would i ever raise my hand to my own child? knowing that my child is 1000X smarter than my dog, and can learn lessons faster, better, and more lastingly?

    hit yourself. if you really want to teach a child a lesson via violence, hit yourself. y’all have seen “chinatown,” right? ‘member that scene where he’s slapping her? and she says “my sister! my daughter! my sister! my daughter!” it’s like that, yo. if you have to beat someone to make a point, hit yourself! really! think of MLK, or Gandhi. but if you have to beat something, it’s because it’s you have to make the MOST extreme point. like i said, in my case, mom did so because i almost burned down 500 virgin acres among which our family estate happened to be centered. every other time she wanted me to learn something? the shame she inflicted upon me with her tongue and mind? so much more memorable and powerful than ANYTHING she could’ve done with her hand.

    it’s like the saying: the Vulgar word is the tool of the weak mind. same deal. striking a child? the lame and lazy response of a tired parent. you are the adult. you are expected to do better. Always. if you can’t? don’t have kids, or give up the ones you’ve had to those who understand better.

  7. Marta

    One thing is to abuse your kid, other thing is to spank your kids.
    I was spanked every single time I was disrespectful or caused danger for me or others.
    I love my parents because they taught me discipline and I am very grateful to their spankings.
    I spank my kids, not because I enjoy it, but because I care about them. Right on their fannies and always with my hand.
    There is no way you can reason with a three year old about the dangers of crossing the street or running away in a mall.
    I find it quite amusing when I hear parents warning their kids about time-outs that never take place, while their children talk back to them or run wild.
    Children love you more if they respect you, children want discipline, direction.
    Equal parts of discipline and affection.

  8. Maybe it also depends on the person doing the spanking. It might not be in a person nature to apply discipline in that way. I know that sounds passive, but it’s just like that laid back, quiet individual you know, they just function to a different, perhaps more mellow beat.

  9. Uncle Chuck

    It’s not about spanking per se, it’s about the child KNOWING that there WILL be consequences for bad behavior ( do the crime, do the time). Also, another poster mentioned the neighbor spanking kids and telling the parents who gave ANOTHER spanking (IT takes a village…). That was HUGH incentive for not acting up!

    Well, we’ve more or less neutered the parents as far as discipline is concerned (the courts and “well meaning professionals”) and with the burning down of the village and babies having babies (what can a baby teach a baby) and a lot of other stuff thrown in for good measure we have the situation the author wrote about.

  10. Its a shame what the world has come to. I know that spankings can get out of hand. Parants have the right to procreate so, they should have the right to spank the booty too.

  11. Dadcracker

    How can we distill the meaning of “spanking?” What aspects are necessary? Pain? Humiliation? If it works for children, why not for adults? Do any of you think that physical chastisement is appropriate for civil crimes? If not, why not, if it’s good enough for kids? Does the technique stop working at some age?

    Just stop for a moment and think about what you’re doing. Teaching your kids to be responsible members of society by hitting them? Teaching them respect by belittling and humiliating them?

    Why do we think we know whether or not techniques like these “work?” By drawing simplistic lessons from our own experience? Bear in mind that many behavioral patterns once thought of as character deficiencies are now demonstrated (fairly well, in evidence-based practice) to be learning disabilities. Attention-deficit disorder was once treated by frequent beatings, which often drove the subjects into violent lives and bad ends – yet the received wisdom was that these people were “born bad.”

    Anyone with a shred of faith in any religion should remember that the main teaching is always compassion. Physical chastisement can not be done with compassion, as much as you kid yourselves. Suffering the same fate at one point does not make you an expert or even particularly knowledgeable, let alone make it an excuse. Try to understand why your children feel the way they do – they’re inheriting all our garbage. Unemployment among 20-somethings is – what? 60%? Probably a minimum; among black males it probably soars way above that. Does anyone really think that if everyone “buckles down” and works hard that they all can succeed? What a pile of crap!

    I turn 60 in a few days, and I think kids have every right to feel little respect for my generation. We didn’t succeed in changing anything. We deserve that lack of respect. They have a right to be angry.

  12. Danceroflife

    Spanking/Whipping same same, as far as I’m concerned. Black folks certainly have a problem leaving the slave mentality behind. Isn’t that what the Massa did to our ancestors when they allegedly misbehaved. If one were to hit a grown person, it would be considered assault and battery. Why is it ok to whipped our children? It’s abuse, handed down from slavery. I never spanked or whipped my three sons – time out was effective as was restrictions and punishment. They never gave me any trouble and the last one is graduating from UCLA this year. Spanking/whipping is violence against our children and a legacy of slavery. Love shouldn’t hurt…

  13. DeeDee

    http://www.nospank.net/correlationstudy.htm
    Read & weep – high rates of spanking correlate with high murder rates, high incarceration rates… low rates of spanking correlate with educational achievement, personal success, and non-violence. The black community lost control of its children BECAUSE of violence, including spanking, and spanking is not going to turn things right again.

  14. Just me

    to the woman who were spanked once. You knew your parents could spank you. You knew if you acted that way again you would be spanked, these children are “protected” by laws that parents cannot spank them. The use these to treaten their parents of what will happen once they lay a hand on them and use it to smart off to them and get what they want. I have seen even the “best” Dr phil & spock parents turn out a HORRIBLY BAD CHILD!

  15. Just me

    Parents are resorting to prescriptions to parent their children to make their hyper children behave the way they feel should be appropriate for them. Many are just too lazy to parent while their tv show is on. So they take their children to the dr where they write a prescription and the kids become addicted to them and wonder why so many of todays youth are addicted to drugs. They have always been on something!

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