Category Archives: love

So, We’re All Ugly Just Because Some People Aren’t Into Black Chicks?

Personal Opinion is not fact.  Asking men about their preferences when it comes to women and attaching some pseudoscience to it doesn’t make your research air tight.  I need someone to explain the concept of opinion polls to the blogger over at Psychology Today who had the audacity to try to pass his bias off as science.  The title of the blog post I’m talking about is “Why Are Black Women Less Physically Attractive Than Other Women? Why black women, but not black men?”. Psychology Today has since taken the post down, but you can read it here.  You can read more about this here as well.

Here’s an excerpt:

What accounts for the markedly lower average level of physical attractiveness among black women? Black women are on average much heavier than nonblack women. The mean body-mass index (BMI) at Wave III is 28.5 among black women and 26.1 among nonblack women. (Black and nonblack men do not differ in BMI: 27.0 vs. 26.9.) However, this is not the reason black women are less physically attractive than nonblack women. Black women have lower average level of physical attractiveness net of BMI. Nor can the race difference in intelligence (and the positive association between intelligence and physical attractiveness) account for the race difference in physical attractiveness among women. Black women are still less physically attractive than nonblack women net of BMI and intelligence. Net of intelligence, black men are significantly more physically attractive than nonblack men.

There are many biological and genetic differences between the races. However, such race differences usually exist in equal measure for both men and women. For example, because they have existed much longer in human evolutionary history, Africans have more mutations in their genomes than other races. And the mutation loads significantly decrease physical attractiveness (because physical attractiveness is a measure of genetic and developmental health). But since both black women and black men have higher mutation loads, it cannot explain why only black women are less physically attractive, while black men are, if anything, more attractive.

The only thing I can think of that might potentially explain the lower average level of physical attractiveness among black women is testosterone. Africans on average have higher levels of testosterone than other races, and testosterone, being an androgen (male hormone), affects the physical attractiveness of men and women differently. Men with higher levels of testosterone have more masculine features and are therefore more physically attractive. In contrast, women with higher levels of testosterone also have more masculine features and are therefore less physically attractive. The race differences in the level of testosterone can therefore potentially explain why black women are less physically attractive than women of other races, while (net of intelligence) black men are more physically attractive than men of other races.

Personally, I’m outraged about this.  Not surprised, but outraged.  Black women birth black babies and further the black race.  Thus, “they” must attack, berate, and abuse us in the media or otherwise.  Don’t believe me?  Google “Michelle Obama”.

There is also a long history of psychology research focusing on the suggested inferiority of Black people.  Has history taught us nothing?  It has taught us to know racist and eugenic talk from the psychological community a mile a way.

To the author:
You might as well use “negroid” or “ape-like” in your piece, Mr. Kanazawa.  “The only thing I can think of…”, you say??  That sounds like you are trying to pass off your opinions as fact.  Beauty has always been in the eye of the beholder.  Just say that you don’t find black women attractive and that your opinion is shared by some other men.  This is America and we have the right to voice or opinions.  We all know what color Barbie is and that the European standard of beauty is the STANDARD.  You as an Asian man know the struggles that Asian women go through trying to conform.  As a person of color, you should realize how people of color in America see themselves differently than how those outside of their race see them.

Black women are not less attractive, as your title states.  Opinion is just opinion.  Men just like what they like.  As an old song said, “If you don’t like it, don’t knock it.   Somebody else might wanna rock it.”

Questions

  • What is “AddHealth”?
  • Who paid for this study?

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Filed under african american, beauty, black women, culture, love, opinion, race, racism, relationships, sex, society, white folks, women

Black Women Opening Up to the Idea of Dating White Men

When I first arrived in DC, I would say that it was extremely rare to see an interracial couple composed of a Black Woman and a White Man.  An Oddity of sorts.  Now, don’t get me wrong.  I’m all for it.  Other than a few visions of Master/Slave forced relations that pop into my head at the initial thought, I think it’s a win win.

In the last 2 years, on the streets of DC, I’ve noticed a huge rise in the number of Black Women and White Men I see coupled up.  I’m talking young, old, professional, yuppies, bohos, BMW drivers, and pickup truck enthusiasts.  Blacks and whites of all different strata.  I know Essence did an article on this topic maybe a year ago, so maybe people took that as a permission slip.  I’m just wondering, Hello Negro family, if you’re seeing what I’m seeing and what you think about it? Does this form of interracial dating carry the stigma that Black Man/White Woman dating does for some in the African American community?

Honestly, I’m real tried to hearing the “I can’t find a man” swan song from African-American professional women who have never tried online dating or interracial dating (two things I usually recommend when I hear people bitching about their singleness).  Time to get down with the swirl, Ladies.

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ABC News: Why Can’t a Successful Black Woman Find a Man?

I’m wishing Steve Harvey, Sherri Shepard, Jacque Reid, Hill Harper, and Jimi Izrael Good Luck as they try to answer this age old question:  Why Can’t a Successful Black Woman Find a Man?  I’m sure the panel will try their hardest, but the answer is as elusive as some have found the search for their man to be.  I’ll surely live blog this one, so look out for that.  All my Georgia ladies and gents, the event is happening in your neck of the woods so let me know if you get a ticket so I can hear the unedited scoop.

STEVE HARVEY AND “NIGHTLINE’S” VICKI MABREY TO CO-MODERATE LIVE DEBATE AT THE PORTER SANFORD PERFORMING ARTS CENTER IN DECATUR, GA

FRIDAY, APRIL 9th AT 7:00PM ET

In the United States, black college educated women outnumber black college educated men 2 to 1. Considering all the other factors that could lend to this disproportion, it’s not surprising people wonder why many successful black women cannot find a man.  ABC News “Nightline” asks this question and relevant others–Are black women’s expectations too high? Who’s to blame, Black women or black men? – in the next “Nightline Face Off” in Decatur, Georgia on Friday, April 9.

In this “Face-Off,” the 7th in the program’s series, Sherri Shepherd, Emmy award-winning co-host of ABC’s “The View” and Jacque Reid, star of VH1’s “Let’s Talk About Pep” will debate Hill Harper, CSI star and author of The Conversation, and Jimi Izrael, author of The Denzel Principle. Steve Harvey, radio talk show host and bestselling author of Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man and “Nightline’s” Vicki Mabrey will co-moderate the debate.  Shepherd and Reid will participate as single, successful African American females who have difficulty finding an equal match while Harper and Izrael argue that single women should look beyond stereotypes when choosing a black man. Continue reading

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Your Thoughts on Black People and Online Dating

What do you think about African-American and Online Dating?  What has been your experience?  Would you recommend it to your friends?  Do you think that it would open up multi-cultural options for single Black women?  What are your thoughts?

My Opinion:  I’ve tried a number of dating sites in the past.  EHarmony was the worst. I suggest the recruit more African-Americans and other ethnicities for balance.  They could consider creating a campaign targeting African-Americans that plays on the “Christian values” part of their market.  A lot of holy rollers looking for love would go for that.  I’ve heard that BlackPeopleMeet is pretty bad in terms of people acting like they are on Craigslist’s Casual Encounters.  As an African-American woman, I found my overall online dating experiences lacking.  I’m  someone who wanted a real relationship and not just something casual.  However, I came to believe that you have to lower your expectations when you’re dating online because 1) People lie (and post old photos), 2) Married people and people who should be allowed to date are trolling on these sites (check out dontdatehimgirl.com) and 3) Online dating doesn’t bring out the best in everyone.

Something to consider: In the past, Gallup polls have shown  that half of all Black Americans believe it’s “very important” for couples to marry when they have a child — yet according to research from Packaged Facts, more than six out of ten Black Americans are unmarried, thereby making that group the most unattached in America.

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Awesome Love Song for The Obamas

 

This just about made me cry. Enjoy and tell us what you think!

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DC Celebrates the Obama Victory

So far, this is the only clip I’ve found about the party in DC last night/this morning. The clip doesn’t really do justice to what happened out there. Yes, we were there early this morning like we didn’t have to go to work, but we HAD to be there. Obama’s win was way too big to go to bed and just be satisfied with reading about it the next day. There were fireworks, people in the streets, people beating on drums, lots of dancing with random strangers, and okay, I did a cartwheel in the middle of the street… Even the bus drivers were honking a funky beat as they drove down the streets. U Street in DC was like a parade. All I can say is that the Inauguration parties will be CRAZY…think mardi gras.

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/video/2008/11/05/VI2008110500782.html?
hpid=multimedia1&hpv=national

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Filed under black history, change, chocolate city, community, dancing, good times, government, history, love, music, obama, politics, video, washington dc

Bishop Weeks Looking for Wife # 3

DULUTH, Ga. (AP) — The ex-husband of national televangelist Juanita Bynum, who divorced after a parking lot fight between the two landed him in jail, plans to take his search for a new wife to the Internet with videos featuring dating tips and what he’s looking for in a mate.

Thomas W. Weeks III, a minister who runs an Atlanta-area church and is known to his followers as Bishop Weeks, said the 10-episode series will be available starting Tuesday on his Web site.

Excerpts available Friday included Weeks, 41, discussing with aides what he should look for in his third wife.

The group concludes the woman should be at least 25 years old but “with special exemptions for 21 and up if they are classy,” Weeks said. She also must want to have children with him.

“This woman has to be very discerning, and very intimate, and very social and very sensual,” Weeks says, laughing. “And on the ministry side she has to be very diverse. She can’t be ugly.”

Bynum, 49, filed for divorce after the couple had an August, 2007, fight in an Atlanta hotel parking lot that landed Weeks in jail on charges that he pushed, choked and beat Bynum.

He pleaded guilty to assaulting her, is serving three years’ probation and has completed court ordered community service and anger management counseling.

In a video on the Web site of his Duluth-based church, Global Destiny International Ministries, Weeks said thousands of people have been writing him to ask about his plans as a newly single man.

He said he wants to give people a Christian perspective on dating.

“Who is going to be the next Mrs. Weeks? Well, God knows,” Weeks said. In the video, he asks viewers to e-mail him dating advice.

Messages left for Weeks at the church were not returned Friday morning. Bynum’s Los Angeles-based publicist also did not return calls.

If Weeks does find love, his attorney Randy Kessler told The Associated Press Friday, “I’d probably do the prenup for free.”

Who needs match.com or eharmony when you can just use your ministry website to hook yourself up? Lol!!! He discusses what he’s looking for and is even taking suggestions on his website. Comments please.

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WTF: Jennifer Hudson engaged to I Love NY 2′s “Punk”

Um…what? When??? Huh? (I thought I’d tell you guys about a some very, very light news today to break up all this election stuff)

Actress, singer and former American Idol contestant Jennifer Hudson is engaged to David Otunga, aka Punk!

“I can confirm that Jennifer got engaged to her boyfriend David on Friday night in L.A.” her rep tells People.

Otunga, a Harvard Grad who tried to win Tiffany Pollard’s heart on a VH1 reality show (I Love New York 2), popped the question with a Neil Lane diamond ring on the Dreamgirls Oscar winner’s 27th birthday. [source]

Is she crazy? I mean it’s not as shocking as Mariah and Nick Cannon, but it’s unexpected. On the show it just appeared that he wanted to be seen…that he wanted to be a star. I mean, he seemed nice enough, but I don’t know. Eh, it’s her choice, so I wish them a happy life together.

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Single Black Men: Is marriage really for white people?

Watch this video and here what Brothers have to say about the matter (from CNN’s Special Reports area of the “Black in America” site.

http://www.cnn.com/2008/LIVING/wayoflife/07/22/single.black.women/
index.html#cnnSTCVideo

FYI: They also posted this great article on one sista’s singleness http://www.cnn.com/2008/LIVING/wayoflife/07/22/single.black.women/
index.html

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The root of all evil: Dollar Bill Poem

Keep it real, Dollar Bill.

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