Tag Archives: dating

Black Women Opening Up to the Idea of Dating White Men

When I first arrived in DC, I would say that it was extremely rare to see an interracial couple composed of a Black Woman and a White Man.  An Oddity of sorts.  Now, don’t get me wrong.  I’m all for it.  Other than a few visions of Master/Slave forced relations that pop into my head at the initial thought, I think it’s a win win.

In the last 2 years, on the streets of DC, I’ve noticed a huge rise in the number of Black Women and White Men I see coupled up.  I’m talking young, old, professional, yuppies, bohos, BMW drivers, and pickup truck enthusiasts.  Blacks and whites of all different strata.  I know Essence did an article on this topic maybe a year ago, so maybe people took that as a permission slip.  I’m just wondering, Hello Negro family, if you’re seeing what I’m seeing and what you think about it? Does this form of interracial dating carry the stigma that Black Man/White Woman dating does for some in the African American community?

Honestly, I’m real tried to hearing the “I can’t find a man” swan song from African-American professional women who have never tried online dating or interracial dating (two things I usually recommend when I hear people bitching about their singleness).  Time to get down with the swirl, Ladies.

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Single Black Men: Is marriage really for white people?

Watch this video and here what Brothers have to say about the matter (from CNN’s Special Reports area of the “Black in America” site.

http://www.cnn.com/2008/LIVING/wayoflife/07/22/single.black.women/
index.html#cnnSTCVideo

FYI: They also posted this great article on one sista’s singleness http://www.cnn.com/2008/LIVING/wayoflife/07/22/single.black.women/
index.html

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Black Women Doing the White Thang in the UK

As black women dating white men becomes a topic I see more and more of in the black press and on blogs, I wonder…Will the stigma that haunts these relationships in the US be as large as the one that haunts Black Male/White Female relations.

From Why black women are doing the white thing

Now, rather than sitting around dreaming about the perfect black man, black women are considering the possibility that ‘Mr. Right’ could be white.  Casting aside reservations about interracial relationships – for some, due to the atrocities committed during slavery – they are beginning to look past race when choosing a potential mate.

Race doesn’t matter to Paul Kennedy and Michelle Clarke. Best friends since primary school, they are now in a relationship together. Kennedy is white and Clarke is black.  “People are finding people with common interests and common perspectives and are putting race aside,” says Clarke, 26, a Middlesex University graduate who works at Barclay’s Bank.

Clarke and her friends are among the new generation of black females that are opting to date outside of their race due to their social environment. Like Clarke, the majority of young people have friends or acquaintances of different races and nationalities, and are seen as more tolerant and open-minded than previous generations. Unlike their parents and grandparents, today’s teens and twenty-somethings have grown up hearing the buzzwords ‘diversity,’ ‘multicultural’ and ‘inclusion’, and are used to seeing interracial friendship and romance portrayed in films and on TV – especially in soap operas and adverts.

“I don’t see colour as an issue,” states Clarke. “We have been very happy together and apart from a few isolated incidents, we have not experienced any open hostility towards our relationship.” Continue reading

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I might have dated a married man…

dontdatehimgirl.com (a site I highly recommend) is one of the best sites online. Dating someone? Do you do a lot of online dating, Ladies? You need to do a search or two on this site. I wouldn’t have thought there was anything about the guy I’ve been dating for a month (or I guess “was dating”) on this site. Well,the truth is that there are 2 postings (2 different women) about him that say he is a horrible person (he’s a liar, cheater, married…etc). I confronted him about it, and he says (of course) that it’s not true. However, a number of things worry me though (time of his calls, never been to his home). A number of tendencies that are kinda tale tell from what I understand. Before you brothers get on me for believing what I’ve read online and not taking the man’s word, know that he has an out. He can introduce me to his family (he has a daughter). We can all go to his church together. It’s on him, because a shadow of doubt has now been cast. I told him that I’m open to see what happens from here.

Note: Don’t think that I’m dumb enough to have a whole lot of hope that things will work out.  I don’t.  There were a good number of views on the posts about him on ddhg.com. That means that other women were looking for info on him as well…that’s NOT good either. Sigh! Well, if all is BAD…I’m glad I found out way early before things got too deep. My third eye is definately open.

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Reality Show Casting: The Black Woman’s Guide to Marrying Well

I got this info today and thought some of you Sistas might be interested. – Sista


I’m Executive Producer of the new reality television show, “The Black Woman’s Guide to Marrying Well” that will air Fall 2008. Currently, we’re looking for single black women in search of their soul mate who’d like the opportunity to find him (or figure out why they haven’t as of yet) on our show. Please link our casting blog to your site and tell everyone you know to audition at one of our nationwide castings. Thanks so much! Visit the casting blog at http://blackwomansguide.blogspot.com.Kassandra Vaughn, Executive Producer and CEO, Clean Slate Films

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Hello, Negro! Are black women doomed to be single?

As a 30 something black woman living in Chocolate City I’ve come to an interesting conclusion regarding love and dating with regard to the African American community as it currently stands.

Black Men have lots of viable, desireable options when it comes to marriage and love.  Black Women don’t, and may have to come to grips with the fact that many of them who want marriage will never find it.

Now, I come to this conclusion not from a scientific study or quantitative measure…this is just opinion.  However, I’d like to know…Is it just me or does the dating scene seem a little bleek for African American women let’s say….30-45 years of age???  You tell me?  Sistas, are you meeting good men, men that you think would make good husbands and fathers?  Brothers, are black women superficial and trying to find mates that don’t exist?  Does anyone out there in the dating world actually know what they want…are they realistic in their desires?

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NBC Starting 5 Part Series on Black Women on Nov 26

NBC NIGHTLY NEWS WITH BRIAN WILLIAMS” SPECIAL FIVE-PART SERIES
AFRICAN-AMERICAN WOMEN: WHERE THEY STAND” TO AIR BEGINNING ON MONDAY, NOVEMBER 26

NBC News With Brian Williams” will take a look at the issues facing African-American women across our nation in a new series “African-American Women: Where They Stand.” The series will cover a wide-range of issues from their role in the ’08 Presidential race, to the increased health-risks that they need to be concerned about.

Monday’s installment will discuss African-American women’s progress in the education field. Nearly two-thirds of African-American undergraduates are women. At black colleges, the ratio of women to men is 7 to 1. And that is leading to a disparity in the number of African-American women who go on to own their own businesses. Rehema Ellis will talk to educators, students and businesswomen about why this disparity exists.

Tuesday, Ellis will look at the relationships of African-American women. Many agree the gender disparity in education and business among African-Americans is having an effect on relationships that African American women have. Some even say the implications could redefine “Black America’s family and social structure.” In the past fifty years, the percentage of African-American women between 25-54 who have never been married has doubled from 20% to 40%. (Compared to just 16% of white women who have never been married today). Ellis sits down with the members of a Chicago book club and talk about this difference and how it impacts them.

Dr. Nancy Snyderman will discuss the increases risks for breast cancer for African-American women on Wednesday. Mortality rates for African-American women are higher than any other racial or ethnic group for nearly every major cause of death, including breast cancer. Black women with breast cancer are nearly 30% more likely to die from it than white women. Premenopausal black women are more than twice as likely to get a more aggressive form of the disease. And, not only are African-American women more likely to die from breast cancer, but they’re less likely to get life-saving treatments. Dr. Snyderman will profile one of the only oncologists in the world who specializes in the treatment of African-American women with breast cancer.

On Thursday, Ron Allen will take viewers to South Carolina — the first southern primary state — and ask the question: Will race trump gender or gender trump race? In South Carolina, black women made up nearly 30 percent of all democratic primary voters in 2004. This year, polls show a significant number are undecided, torn between choosing the first African-American or first female Presidential candidate. Allen talks with the undecided, as well the state directors for the Clinton and Obama campaigns, who happen to be African-American women.

To close the series on Friday, Dr. Snyderman will raise the frightening statistic that African-American women are 85% more likely to get diabetes, a major complication for heart disease. And, like breast cancer, more black women die from heart disease than white women. Dr. Snyderman will profile a leading expert and a unique church-based outreach program in South Carolina that seeks to spread the word about heart disease risks to black women congregants.

Mara Schiavocampo, Digital Correspondent for “Nightly News,” will address two hot topics in the African – American community: interracial dating and the impact of hip hop music on black women. Interracial dating is a growing trend in the African – American community. An Essence.com- essence.com poll found that 81% of participants approved of black women dating non- black men.

According to a U.S. Census Bureau report in 2000, 95,000 black women were married to white men. In 2005, that number increased to 134,000. Schiavocampo will talk to experts about the trend and discuss how this defines the “Black family” of the future.

Schiavocampo will convene a panel of leading black men and women from the hip-hop industry for an engaging discussion on whether hip hop lyrics and videos positively or negatively affect black women. The roundtable also will address how these portrayals are affecting relationships between black women and black men.

Consumers can go online to join the discussion and share their thoughts
on message boards. They can also read and respond to blog entries at http://www.nightly.msnbc.com.

Alexandra Wallace is the executive producer of “NBC Nightly News with
Brian Williams.” Bob Epstein is the senior broadcast producer, and Rich
Latour is the senior producer for this series.

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He had jungle fever: A white guy remembers his erotic black girl

I stumbled upon this blog posting from Roissy in DC and posted it on singlesista.com. Very…interesting. Can you say objectification? The comments from white folk on his blog are just…you know what…go see for yourself. smh

:: My first dating experience years ago with a black girl was a positive one. She was really cute with a penchant for wearing stiletto heels and a habit of flaky behavior that I found endearing. I remember the reactions we got walking down the street together holding hands. Most people let their glances linger a fraction of a second longer than they otherwise would have. In hindsight, I understood why this might’ve created some curiosity in people; a white man with a black woman is one of the rarer combos. Onlookers naturally want to figure out what’s bringing us two together, so they examine us for clues, maybe like matching shoes or to see if I was acting black or she was acting white.

I don’t give these things too much thought when I’m out with a girl of another race because I like to throw all my mental energy into enjoying the woman rather than overanalyzing the societal implications of our pairing.

But while we were dating some things did catch my attention. The black guys we passed on the sidewalk stared at us longer than other people did and made Hmm mm damn sounds which I can only describe as a mixture of disapproval and respect.

The black women we walked by, on the other hand, had a much stronger reaction. Curious and aroused, they eye loved me like I was the filet mignon of manmeat. I think I could have given every one of them an open invitation to join me and my date later in the evening for a night of 50 on 1 group sex that would have qualified for the Gold Edition Penthouse Forum.

I recall the sex pretty vividly because she was exotic new territory for me. I’ll admit I was intimidated when we started banging because I figured most of her experience was with black guys and their huge schlongs. She climbed on top and a wave of relief swept over me when I hit her cervical wall. I was big enough for her. Continue reading

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Single Sistas Looking for Love: White Men Welcome Too

Hello, Negros and Non-Negro friends!,

I run another blog, singlesista.com, where I talk about African American Women finding love. As a single African American women, I’ve found that one of the major topics of conversation among my single sistafriends is how to meet a good man and have a long term relationship that could possibly result in marriage. I personally think it has a lot to do with the overall pool (and shortage in that pool) of available black men. However, I’ll save my detailed thoughts on that for another time. I’m many times scowled at when I propose the possibility that black women may have to get comfortable the possibility with being alone for the rest of their lives due to a number of factors….

1. Men don’t find them attractive (Weight, let themselves go, dating younger women, men are visual..etc)

2. They are too picky and don’t want to “settle” for less than the brother that fits their “list”. Not tall enough, not “black” enough, doen’t make enough…etc

3. They don’t try hard enough. They think a good black man is going to just magically appear. Most of these women don’t date online or go out of their way to be in the presence of men (it’s a numbers game).

4. They don’t acknowledge that murder (crack was king in the late 80’s and 90’s), the prison system, homosexuality being more accepted in society (and the down low)…all affect the numbers of available men. The ratio of single black men to single black women 1-5 or more in many cities.

5. They don’t date outside of their race.

I’d like to know what you think about number 5. Here are some reasons I’ve found as to why black women don’t date outside of their race.

  • Dating outside of your race is something that African American women have routinely bad mouthed African American men for doing. It’s very, very hypocritical for those same women to now date white, hispanic, asian…men.
  • Black women assume that men of other races (most notably white men) don’t find them attractive. One of the major reasons why…They don’t get hit on by men of other races. Some of this can be explained by where black women spend their leisure time and where they meet men (all black environments, such as church, vs. mixed environments).
  • Black women are taught in the home and the culture that the perfect man for them will be a black man.
  • Connotation from slavery (domination by a white master, rape) still linger in the subconscious of black culture
  • Family and community may not approve. Many black men are offended by black women dating white men, and feel it’s a betrayal.
  • The need to have a partner in the struggle, someone who understands the black experience
  • Not wanting to be desired because of your ethnicity, “black concubine” syndrome

Why should black women date outside of their race? What do you think about it. Are you a black woman who’s been involved in an interracial relationship. Tell me the positive, negative and in between.

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