What do you think about African-American and Online Dating? What has been your experience? Would you recommend it to your friends? Do you think that it would open up multi-cultural options for single Black women? What are your thoughts?
My Opinion: I’ve tried a number of dating sites in the past. EHarmony was the worst. I suggest the recruit more African-Americans and other ethnicities for balance. They could consider creating a campaign targeting African-Americans that plays on the “Christian values” part of their market. A lot of holy rollers looking for love would go for that. I’ve heard that BlackPeopleMeet is pretty bad in terms of people acting like they are on Craigslist’s Casual Encounters. As an African-American woman, I found my overall online dating experiences lacking. I’m someone who wanted a real relationship and not just something casual. However, I came to believe that you have to lower your expectations when you’re dating online because 1) People lie (and post old photos), 2) Married people and people who should be allowed to date are trolling on these sites (check out dontdatehimgirl.com) and 3) Online dating doesn’t bring out the best in everyone.
Something to consider: In the past, Gallup polls have shown that half of all Black Americans believe it’s “very important” for couples to marry when they have a child — yet according to research from Packaged Facts, more than six out of ten Black Americans are unmarried, thereby making that group the most unattached in America.
Watch this video and here what Brothers have to say about the matter (from CNN’s Special Reports area of the “Black in America” site.
FYI: They also posted this great article on one sista’s singleness http://www.cnn.com/2008/LIVING/wayoflife/07/22/single.black.women/
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…for this Negro. *sigh*
A few days ago I wrote about a documentary called The Wedding Proprosal (click here) that featured an interview with Thomas Lopez-Pierre of the Harlem Club. Mr. Lopez-Pierre had some “interesting” [cough…scathing] things to say about the prospects most black women have when it comes to getting married. He came off very pompous and flippant, so I was not surprised that he took the time to comment on the post. Here’s what he had to say:
To my professional Black sisters:
I am sorry that so many of you will never find a husband.
Only God will be able to help you.
Harlem Club, LLC
LOL. What kind of advice is that? The situation out here is so bad that Mr. Lopez-Pierre suggests that you call on the Lord! Or, if you’re cute you can send a headshot and if you’re worthy old boy might let you join the Harlem Club (headshots required for the ladies). Well ladies, what do you think? Is God your only hope and refuge?
“The Wedding Proposal is a personal documentary where the filmmaker takes stock of her life style and romantic choices during the year of her 35th birthday. The film examines the institution of marriage, opinions and attitudes about marriage and marriage options from the viewpoint of professional African-American women my age and older.”
Thomas Lopez-Pierre (holding private placement memorandum) with models during casting call for Fashion Show Club Magazine /investor presentation for Lopez-Pierre Realty, LLC, November 19, 2007 (NYC)
I’m watching Anjanette Levert’s documentary on BET right now. The filmmaker, an educated African-American journalist, celebrates her 35th birthday and acknowledges to her dismay that she is STILL unmarried. For answers she turns to her family, her friends and a very interesting negro…Thomas Lopez Pierre, Managing Partner of The Harlem Club, a private social club for professional African-Americans. Any professional man is eligible to join, but women must be under 35, single, have no children; AND they must also submit head and body photos. Thomas points out the troubling statistic that of those African-Americans that graduate college, 65% are women. That leaves a shortage of available professional men for women like Anjanette. As you might think, the ladies in the documentary are not feeling Mr. Lopez. He says that most professional men don’t want a partner (who is a professional woman who works and that they have to support in their goals and journey to success) …they want a wife and that they want to walk into the room with a drop dead gorgeous woman/trophy that personifies their success. He also says there is NO hope for any unmarried black woman over the age of 35. Very interesting…sigh.
What do I think?
Everybody wants love. No body wants to be one of “those women”. Yall know what I’m talking about!
Very interesting so far…it will be on again as part of the Black Stories series, I’m sure.
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Here’s what I heard…
There was a swirl of activity Friday at the rap mogul’s Tribeca apartment. Delivery trucks funneled in and out of the building, dropping off silver candelabras and white flowers. A white tent was set up on the roof, and stars including Beyonce’s former Destiny’s Child bandmates, Kelly Rowland and Michelle Williams, were spotted.
A swarm of media camped outside the building was in a state of frenzy, snapping and shouting at any sport-utility vehicle that drove down the cobblestone street. They caught Actress Gwyneth Paltrow, a friend of Knowles, arriving. TMZ even streamed the action live on their Web site – until their battery ran out.
Gossip sites showed photos of orchids being delivered to the building and a tent set up on what was said to be the balcony of Carter’s home.
E! News quoted the owner of Amy’s Orchids in Thailand as saying her company shipped orchids to New York for Knowles’ and Carter’s wedding Friday. A designer in the city used 60,000 orchids to create “eight-foot garlands that hung down from the ceiling to make the location look like an orchid palace.”
The Web sites of People and Us Weekly reported the couple married and threw a lavish but small party at the apartment Friday, citing unnamed sources who are friends with the pair. A source told People.com that singer Beyonce Knowles, 26, and rapper Jay-Z, 38, tied the knot early Friday evening, and then celebrated with a party at the rapper’s home.
The Web sites reported their families attended the party. The Web site AllHipHop.com wrote that “an extremely close source” said the couple were indeed husband and wife. As of Saturday evening there was still no official confirmation that the couple were married.
Rumors circulated all week about the event after a report that the couple had taken out a marriage license in Scarsdale, N.Y. Representatives for Beyonce Knowles and Jay-Z declined to comment on reports ahead of the event. Jay-Z’s publicist had no comment Saturday. Some skeptics said that the event might have simply been a celebration of the $150 million deal Carter made with Live Nation earlier this week.
Sources: CBS NEWS Showbuzz and Associated Press
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Karma is a Bitch, Kids! You really don’t want to experience it LIVE on nationals television.
This brother should have known better.
As black women dating white men becomes a topic I see more and more of in the black press and on blogs, I wonder…Will the stigma that haunts these relationships in the US be as large as the one that haunts Black Male/White Female relations.
From Why black women are doing the white thing
Now, rather than sitting around dreaming about the perfect black man, black women are considering the possibility that ‘Mr. Right’ could be white. Casting aside reservations about interracial relationships – for some, due to the atrocities committed during slavery – they are beginning to look past race when choosing a potential mate.
Race doesn’t matter to Paul Kennedy and Michelle Clarke. Best friends since primary school, they are now in a relationship together. Kennedy is white and Clarke is black. “People are finding people with common interests and common perspectives and are putting race aside,” says Clarke, 26, a Middlesex University graduate who works at Barclay’s Bank.
Clarke and her friends are among the new generation of black females that are opting to date outside of their race due to their social environment. Like Clarke, the majority of young people have friends or acquaintances of different races and nationalities, and are seen as more tolerant and open-minded than previous generations. Unlike their parents and grandparents, today’s teens and twenty-somethings have grown up hearing the buzzwords ‘diversity,’ ‘multicultural’ and ‘inclusion’, and are used to seeing interracial friendship and romance portrayed in films and on TV – especially in soap operas and adverts.
“I don’t see colour as an issue,” states Clarke. “We have been very happy together and apart from a few isolated incidents, we have not experienced any open hostility towards our relationship.” Continue reading
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How many of you can identify with these women??? Do you believe that everyone has a soulmate???
“We are the most un-partnered people in the United States.” Dayum…that is a powerful statement. Andrea Wiley is talking about it in her documentary “SoulMate“. It was featured in the 5 part series that NBC did on Black Women in America. From the website…
For those still waiting to exhale, Soulmate is a gripping cinematic journey into the realities facing today’s successful, saved, and single African American women. This deeply personal portrait reveals the trials, and triumphs of unforgettable women while offering hope and practical advice on such issues as loneliness, the desire for sexual intimacy, men on the “down low”, the ticking biological clock and the uncertainty of the future. This film offers uplifting revelations about the quest for your true… “Soulmate.”
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“I am still single. I am over 30 and scared.” Hmmm…sounds like a lot of sistas I know. These are the words of Sister Joy Jones.
In 1991, Joy wrote a very controversial editorial for the Washington Post about relationships between Black men and women anywhere. This sister also wrote the very controversial “Marriage is for White People” more recently. I wanted to share an except from the past with all of you.
Linear thinking, self-reliance, structured goals and direct action assist one in getting assignments done, in organizing church or club activities, or in positioning oneself for a raise; but relationship building requires different skills. It requires making decisions that not only gratify you, but satisfy others. It means doing things that will keep the peace rather than achieve the goal; and sometimes, it means creating the peace in the first place.
Maintaining a harmonious relationship will not always allow you to take the straight line between two points. You may have to stoop to conquer or yield to win. In too many cases, when dealing with men, you will have to sacrifice being right in order to enjoy being loved.
Being acknowledged as the head of the household is an especially important thing for many black men, since their manhood is so often actively challenged everywhere else. Many modern women are so independent, so self-sufficient, so committed to the cause, to the church, to career-or their narrow concepts of same-that their entire personalities project an “I don’t need a man” message. So they end up without one.
Click here for the whole article.